Ghosting: what it is, what the risks are and its relationship with the internet

Disappearing from a relationship – of any nature – without prior explanation has a name. O ghosting, from the English “to become a ghost”, is like the famous “going to buy cigarettes and not coming back”, said one twitter user. On this and other networks, it has become increasingly common to hear reports of those who have been abandoned.

If they never ghosted you, you are privileged YES

— gabahn (@gabahn) March 7, 2019

For victims, the pain of uncertainty has repercussions in real symptoms and, in 2021, a research identified higher levels of anxiety not only in those who “took ghosting” but also ghosters.

How is mental health?

Being ignored despite attempts at rapprochement creates, especially, the feeling of insufficiency and rejection, as shown in another recent research published by Estadão. This is because, when the reasons for separation or interruption of communication are not known, it is common for the person “left aside” to try to fill this space by imagining answers in their own right. loop. And this is not something for “crazy” people or too attached. Actually, research from University College London (Nature*) showed that stress is a subjective and physiological response induced in situations in which humans have to deal with the unexpected.

Whether by email, phone call, social media apps, of relationship (UOL), experiences with the ghosting they often revolve around the difficulty or inability to explicitly end an interaction.

I'm not ghosting you I'm just depressed

— milena (@wwwmlna) December 11, 2020

In the technological scene there is no materiality and, often, we are almost anonymous in distant worlds. During the period of social isolation, the virtual space gained even more strength. “We live in the era of 'no time, brother'. This makes ties vulnerable and ends up making the person feel entitled to simply disappear, so as not to have the trouble of managing the consequences of their own decision. Reflections of a globalization that solves everything at the push of a button”, says artist Valmir Liz. For him, the lack of face-to-face communication can contribute to irresponsibility in relationships.

Ghosting doesn't solve your problems, what you need is therapy

— MATOS (@sobrematos) August 5

Ghosting in debate in Brazil

Interest in this term peaked on June 20, 2021, the day after Fantástico explained (g1) what it is and what are some of the emotional impacts of ghosting, especially among female victims.

Fantástico talked about ghosting and the only thing I can say is: few things destroyed my self-esteem as much as the day I was ghosted.

But it helped me learn to never do the same to anyone.

— Catharina (@quasemiss) June 20, 2022

The reports often involve relationship endings that did not happen, because one of the spouses just stopped responding and disappeared. But ghosting isn't just about that. Communication with work partners, hairdresser, and academic environment. In fact, the situation can happen in any relationship.

I got ghosted by the produce guy

— Bene Gesserit de Jaboatão dos Guararapes (@orathiago) August 17

Normalize saying “Next time :)” or “I'm broke, but thanks for your attention” when you ask a freelancer for a quote and it wasn't viable for you. Much better than ghosting and making the person wait for a response that they will never get 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

— Dana on HIATO (@danailustra) May 22, 2021

Despite the matter being extremely serious and involving real consequences for the health and quality of life of those involved, the internet approaches the topic with good humor, creating very ironic memes about the phenomenon.

Meditation is like ghosting your brain

— plucked soul (@paralelebipede) March 1, 2022

Why do people say ghosting when the carioca presented Brazil with DEU PERDIDO???

— Talita São Thiago Tanscheit (@talitastt) March 5, 2022

Curto Curatorship

• Toxic friendship: how to identify and how to deal with friends who do harm (Vogue)
• The real ghosting that became a fiction book: what is true in 'Empty Glass' (UOL)
• Why people 'ghost' on social media (Nexus) (I.e.